Louis Malle at Lewis Mall

Growing up in the Inner City, as I did, 

a love of art was not necessarily encouraged.

 that is not to say there were not some well-meaning 

teachers and librarians who's sorry young kid more 

interested in words then he was and baseballs and did their best to encourage. I think one of the things that was different about me though, was that I was equally as fascinated with the street. I like to look at it from a distance. sometimes it got a little too close because I was right there in it. it's strange to be a bookworm the time that I was coming of age. people still had clearly defined lines then and roles like actors in a play. if you liked books, You are a nerd. If you like sports, you are a jock. And if you do drugs behind the school walk the streets and hustle innocence  then you probably are related to me.

Louis Malle at Lewis Mall. I just watched Black Moon by Louis Malle, my father live at Lewis Mall,  I'm fighting off a cold for nearly two weeks now. When I was younger the visions poured like a faucet it was all I could do to keep them intact, now it's like a deep hard digging.  stabbing at sour sour Earth, trying to break beneath that awful veneer to regain access to the omnivorous superfluous vision. I understand HP lovecraft's silver key now more than ever. conversely, I have found myself becoming  re-obsessed with the black hustlers, Outlaws the writers the filmmakers of the 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s and 80s. I'm talking about Ishmael Reed. Amiri Baraka. Bill Gunn. Shirley Clark's a portrait of Jason Charles Wright. Charles Mingus. Poetry and Jazz.

 I owe a lot as I always do to my buddy Ray Zag, who streams strange films on the Criterion Channel app. I often talk to my girlfriend Gwen about the days of Condor Street, when Redwood walk in and I could feel for a while like the proprietor, of a Bookshop, head shop, video store, crash pad, record store.

Now it's living on opposite coasts. now it's sharing Spotify playlist and movies on streaming apps. but the Vibes remain. sometimes that are only thing I guess that gets you through the drudgery. there are many more films to come. both watching, creating, waiting.

 The true bohemian was never supposed to get distracted.  he was supposed to write all night by the light of his passion, He was supposed to  film everything, all the bright foam of talk.

Somewhere along the way life got less meaningful. which makes it all the more important  to ReDiscover meaning. 

The past year or so oh, I have been treating work like a joke, like a necessary evil, like a spouse I don't love anymore. but I got a new plan. work is my benefactor. work is my backer. Work is the money stream that allows the  artto happen.

There are those  that get enough. and then, as Tom Petty says, Too Much Ain't Enough.