"Devil Card"
My son is my life. He's been attached at my hip his whole life. I fed him his formula every few hours, and changed him. He lived alone with me for years. His mother could barely be bothered to care for him. She couldn't be alone with him for more than a few hours.
Last year, my ex wife tried to take my son for the extra social security money. She blocked me from everything, and when I tried to talk to him, she threw a bogus restraining order at me. I drove from Suncook NH to New Bedford, MA in a blizzard to make the court date where the judge terminated the order.
I tried to get him back, but she disappeared with him. The next day, she used the terminated restraining order to file for Ex Parte.
I got a lawyer, and expedited the hearing, and I got him back.
She had alienated him from me for six weeks, and it fucked him up pretty bad; he'd have these nightmares where he was alone in an infinite void.
Very likely suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, she tried everything she could to make me look bad in court; she told lie after lie, horrible lies to tell a court about a man. She dragged me through four or five courts to try to take him. I've never seen her try so hard at anything. I could go on forever.
Bombarded by her counter parenting and litigation, I became traumatized and desperate, so I turned to black magic.
I needed to write a deadly song that would destroy her if she ever heard it.
So I consulted my Necronomicon tarot cards, pulled the Devil, and the words poured out in a frenzy. I was sure to project the intention by jerking off to the backseat. Masterbation is a powerful tool in magick.
Anyway I woke up the next day, barely remembering the recording. When I listened to it, I felt a slight pang of fear that it was working.
The song was so dope that I became obsessed with it. The Devil Card had me. I couldn't stop listening to it, as if it wasn't even my song.
Eventually my ex wife got bored of harassing me, and the song continued to gain a life of its own.
It was the only one of my songs of this style that I could perform live.
The war between my ex and I was over, but the catharsis of the song remained. It was like a drug. There were times I even felt the song was too lethal, but like I said; these demonic forces inside of me feel like drugs.
For months I only slept three hours a night, got up at 3AM, and started writing all these psychotic songs.
The personification of this hypnotic catharsis was a djinn who calls himself "Well Pharaoh", he was this ridiculously violent cartoon character pumping out psychotic songs.
Sometimes Well Pharaoh is far in the background, and some nights he comes out to play.
This is one of those nights. I'm not even that angry at my Ex anymore, but I can't get rid of the song. I can't help but revel in it's madness. The djinn ricochets around my skull begging for his songs to be heard. The songs are like deformed bastard babies that we make together.
I don't know if my ex ever heard it, but the original cut had a lot of views on YouTube.
463 Dopesick For Catharsis
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