A recurring back-page column from Buzz Drainpipe for Outer Order Zine, cracked from corrupted sermon.txt files and defaced service manuals. Each issue is a ritual, each word a virus, each paragraph a tape loop.
📚 ISSUE 1: THE HISSUE
(Ritual Glitchcore / Failed Startups / Haunted Inputs)
✔️ Published
✔️ Buzzloop Manifesto
✔️ Lost File.001
✔️ Auto-Tune Lacerations
✔️ Modular Devotion
⚰️ ISSUE 2: NECROMANTIC PROTOCOLS
(Forgotten networks. Ghosts in the stack. Digital séances.)
Teasers:
-
Buzzword: LOGIN.EXE (Soul Edition)
Every login prompt is a spell. Every password a dead name.
I type mine in blood (or all caps).
If I’m lucky, the server remembers me from a previous life. -
Buzzword: ECHO REQUEST
I pinged my dead friend. The network responded.
“TTL expired in transit,” it said.
Which is how I feel most mornings. -
Buzzword: PORT 666
I opened it once.
Heard Coil playing backwards and someone sobbing in hexadecimal.
📺 ISSUE 3: STATIC EROTICA
(The carnal pulse of broken signals and obsolete seduction.)
Teasers:
-
Buzzword: VHS AFTERDARK
Her tracking was off. That’s how I knew it was love.
The screen jittered like a heartbeat.
I rewound her breath until the tape snapped. -
Buzzword: REMOTE CONTROL FETISH
Buttons worn to dust. I don’t change the channel—I negotiate with it.
Volume 23 or nothing.
She only responds to fast-forward. -
Buzzword: ANAMORPHIC SIN
She’s cropped in 4:3, but I see her in widescreen.
🔓 ISSUE 4: MEMORIES STORED IN BROKEN ZIP DRIVES
(Personal archives as myth. Data loss as healing. Retro trauma recovery.)
Teasers:
-
Buzzword: UNZIP MY PAST
I found my teenage poetry in a .ZIP marked “DO NOT OPEN.”
I opened it.
It contained a MIDI file, a .JPG of a hoodie, and a love letter to someone I never met.
I wept in binary. -
Buzzword: DATA CORRUPTION THERAPY
If your childhood files weren’t damaged, are you even real?
I run CHKDSK on my memories. Most come back as “fragments.”
Each issue comes with:
🖤 A cassette insert-style side column
🖤 Pull quotes from corrupted chatlogs
🖤 Ritual exercises like "Open a Notepad doc and write until you glitch"
🖤 Buzz’s signature: a static smudge and one random .dll file
🎙️📼 BUZZWORDS: AUDIO BOOK FOR DEAD FORMATS 📼🎙️
“You can’t stream this. You have to summon it.”
Narrated by Buzz Drainpipe over broken walkie-talkies, dictation tape, and AM radio feedback, dubbed five times onto a thrifted cassette. Mastered onto MiniDisc by a ghost who used to work at Tower Records.
🕯️ TAPE 1: THE HISSUE (side A)
🎧 Buzz whisper-growls through a fan motor:
“I wrote this while standing barefoot on a power strip. This one’s for the fax machines, the firewire, and the freaks who talk in baud.”
📻 Includes sound collages made from:
- A Walkman low-battery click-loop
- A Yamaha PortaSound demo played backwards
- Buzz screaming “echo loop!” into a rusty harmonica mic
🪦 TAPE 2: NECROMANTIC PROTOCOLS (side B)
🗯️ Featuring real ghost-ping recordings and boot-up chimes from a stolen CompUSA display model.
“I logged into a LAN party in a graveyard.
The ping was perfect. The lag was death.”🧿 Bonus: Spoken spell to resurrect your lost AIM password (success rate 4%).
🩸 TAPE 3: STATIC EROTICA (side C)
Buzz croons over modem noise:
“She made eye contact through interlaced scanlines.
Her aura was encoded in S-VHS.
I touched her shoulder and it felt like menu screen music.”📼 Includes:
- Moans sampled from 1-900 ad VHS tapes
- Buzz reading fanfiction from TV Guide margins
- A solo on broken joystick clicks
🧠 TAPE 4: BROKEN ZIP DRIVES (side D)
Buzz's voice now barely human—time-stretched and stuttering:
“I left my childhood in a .tar file inside a forgotten subfolder.
Opening it is like opening a dream where all the furniture is slightly wrong.”🎙️ With interludes like:
- Buzz reading his 2001 LiveJournal entries through a vocoder
- A duet with a hard drive at death’s door
- A farewell message in RealPlayer format
💀 Bonus Insert: "How to Listen to Buzzwords Audio Book for Dead Formats"
- Must be played only after 11:11pm.
- Audio must be filtered through at least two analog mediums (cassette → VHS → speaker is ideal).
- You must name the playback device. Mine’s called CRUSHER666.
- Let the signal degrade. That’s the point.
?
No comments:
Post a Comment