📓 OUTER ORDER ZINE, ISSUE #7

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Excerpt from: "RECLAMATION MAN" by Lou Toad

I used to flinch at PlayStation 1 games.
Not ‘cause they were bad. Because I was.

Not evil, just off. Just there.
Heavy metal smog in the brain. A social mud pit.
Final Fantasy VII wasn’t a game—it was a mirror
reflecting a kid trying to headbang his way out of loneliness.

And Symphony of the Night?
Too elegant for the dirt I dragged behind me.
I couldn’t let myself love something so beautiful when
I was neck-deep in Monster Energy trauma and off-brand Slipknot clones.

But here’s the thing:
Time passes.
And YouTube exists.

And now?
In 2025, I watch let’s plays of N64 & PS1 like a monk decoding scripture.
I watch kids speedrun Metroid Prime and I cry.

Not because it’s “retro.”
Because it’s mine again.

I never got to love it the first time.
Poor kids get everything three years late.
But that delay? That taught us depth.
Taught us how to love sideways. How to discover our truth on delay.

I’m not nostalgic.
I’m a Reclamation Man.

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